Pack your stuff your mov...you're mo... you're... not going anywhere!

Well this weekend we were supposed to be moving into our brand new house. Exciting times right? Not so much, not in the circus land we live in. Here's the events of the last week and why we are not moving into our lovely little casa bonita this weekend as planned. After being conditionally approved for our loan a week and a half ago, we turned in all of the final conditional paperwork the bank required for final approval and closing. We were told once that was done we would be off to sign final documents, close the loan, get our keys and move into our house early the next week. So we finish that Friday and are told everything good to go and start our planning that weekend for next week's move. Monday I get a phone call saying the bank is 3 to 4 days behind and won't get to us until Thursday or Friday. Great, awesome, couldn't be better. So after waiting all week Thursday rolls around and I get a phone call saying the bank won't accept our most recent bank statments that show we have the money to close this loan. Supposedly we printed them online. Little do they know I went into Wells Fargo had them printed out and faxed directly to my mortgage broker. So now I'm told I have to get these same statements printed out again but this time notarized by the bank. SERIOUSLY? Since you can't argue withe the bank lending you your money I go and get a notarized printout of the exact same account snapshot and fax it over to my broker. All this with two kids while my wife is at work, not a good task for dads to try, very easy for a mother, I know. Good thing for banks and their jar of freaking dum dum suckers. So the bank faxes over the new "notarrized" statements, I call our broker, she says she got em and everything should be done tomorrow, this was the only thing the bank needed. So today rolls around and were hopeful that we will be able to sign. What fools we are. I get a call about 11:30am from my realtor this time. He is saying that the bank now wants us to sign a new contract dated 5 days later than the original contract. Realtor sends us new contracts, we both sign those, send them back. They say they will send them to the seller have him sign them and send them to our broker who will send them to the bank and then "we are good to go." it's 9:21pm right now and after two unreturned, unasnswered calls to my realtor 3 unanswered, unreturned calls to our mortgage broker we don't have a clue what is going on or where things stand with the bank and our house. I swear buying a house is fun and worth the effort, really I do???????????????????????? If something doesn't happen next week you might be reading about alot more than two angry "hoping to be" homeowners. So there you go, my happy little update for the week!